重新定义失败:如何克服挫折

生活中的挫折是不可避免的, but you can choose to see them as positive lessons instead of upsetting failures. Learn ways to deal with setbacks 和 obstacles so you can move forward 和 achieve your goals.

Thomas Edison went through thous和s of failures before his light bulb worked the way he wanted it to. Edison had a very positive view on failure, famously saying “I have not failed. 我刚发现了一万种行不通的方法.“社会关注的是他最终做对了什么, 和 that’s why he is regarded as America’s greatest inventor.    

But it’s a lot harder to cut ourselves some slack than it is to go easy on historical figures. If we practice dealing with setbacks the right way we can turn our failures into wins.

Here are some dos 和 don’ts to get over failure:

不要沉湎于过去的错误

Research suggests that when we dwell on our perceived failures, it only makes us more depressed. You don’t have time to beat yourself up when you should be figuring out how to keep going. So forgive yourself 和 move on before you fall into that deep pit of despair.  

关注未来的目标吗

We may not want to dwell on our failures, but that doesn’t mean they don’t serve a purpose. A minor setback can actually motivate us to double down 和 push harder when we’re aiming for a long-term achievement. If your goal was to climb a mountain but you didn’t reach the summit, you’ve still learned something 和 grown stronger for the next climb. Next time you’ll be more resolved than ever to reach the top.

不要逃避

The very word “failure” can put us in a wrong mindset when facing challenges. Research shows that when we have a “Do anything but fail!” mentality, we’re afraid to admit small defeats, learn from them 和 move on to the next challenge. 而不是, we get angry 和 anxious 和 spend so much time avoiding failure that we can’t scrap a bad plan 和 change course. 试着用“小挫折”这样的词来代替. 

做一个探索者

而不是 of thinking “I’ll try not to fail,” make your mantra “I’ll seek success.“当我们专注于可能的成就时, we’re more willing to fail forward fast 和 experiment with new approaches, 这就是我们应该做的吗. And as a bonus, research shows it tends to make us happier 和 less stressed, too. 

不要固执地坚持下去

小挫折是一回事, but there are times when you need to admit that your plan is not working. It can be dangerous to press on with a bad plan just because you don’t want to feel like all your effort so far has been wasted. Climbing a mountain is a fine goal, but the most casualties on Everest happen near the top. Sometimes it’s best to turn back before it’s too late. Even if it isn’t life or death, it could be a bad plan that’s wasting your efforts. 

一定要快速调整

It feels bad to scrap a plan that wasn’t working, but the faster you do, the less time you’ll lose. 我们生来就拒绝承认失败, so try reframing your setbacks as nothing more than failed experiments, 比如爱迪生和他的灯泡, 尝试的次数并不重要. As long as you adjust, learn 和 keep at it, your light will shine bright in the end. 

这就是爱迪生和其他伟大的思想家所做的, 和 his mindset isn’t a relic of the past: Elon Musk, 当代爱迪生, has had delays in his electric cars rolling off the production line, 和 his SpaceX rockets have blown up on the launch pad. He says, “If things aren’t failing, you aren’t innovating enough.” And this is the guy who launched a Tesla toward Mars. 

把你的生活看作一个实验室, where you don’t have failures but setbacks that teach you what not to do so you can regroup 和 try again.