为什么保护父亲的心理健康如此重要

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In Hollywood, 这个不知所措的父亲的形象是为了逗人发笑, 后果很少比尴尬地换尿布或者沮丧地大叫更严重, "D'oh!"

But in real life, 专家表示，为人父母的压力会对父亲的心理健康构成挑战, 这不仅会影响她们的身体健康，也会影响她们孩子的健康, too.

具体的挑战对每个父亲来说都是独一无二的. Kate Gawlik, a nurse practitioner and an associate clinical professor at the Ohio State College of Nursing in Columbus. But overall, “孩子的心理健康和行为与父母的密切相关," said Gawlik, 她还是她所在学校健康与保健本科项目的联席主任.

The importance of a father's mental health hasn't always been emphasized by researchers or society in general, said Dr. Sheehan Fisher, an associate professor in psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago. “从历史上看，我们认为只要妈妈身体好，孩子就会受到影响. 但我们知道父亲对孩子的心理健康有直接的影响, medical and developmental outcomes."

Challenges can begin as soon as fatherhood does. "It's well-established that fathers are at an increased risk for depression and anxiety symptoms during the perinatal period," just before and just after a child is born, Fisher said.

大约10%的新爸爸会经历产后抑郁症, Fisher said, 风险最高的是孩子出生后的三到六个月. That's less than half the rate among women. It also might be an underestimate, he said, 因为传统的方法可能无法完全衡量父亲的抑郁程度.

“男性倾向于通过酒精或非法药物等物质来掩盖自己的抑郁, or they engage in aggressive behaviors," such as verbal or physical aggression, or even hypersexuality, Fisher said.

The effects on children seem to start early, too. In a review of research on fathers and mental health that was published in the American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine in 2016, Fisher wrote that fathers' depression has been linked to negative behaviors in their offspring from infancy through early childhood. Later in a child's life, paternal depression has been shown to affect the likelihood of a child developing depression or anxiety in adolescence and into early adulthood.

Fatherhood also brings stress. As any parent knows, raising children can be simultaneously one of the most rewarding and challenging experiences a person can go through, said Gawlik, a mother of four. "There's just so much involved," she said. “你实际上是对你无法控制的其他人负责."

In unpublished findings from an online survey of 722 parents of children younger than 18 for a recent report on parenting that Gawlik co-wrote, 44% of the men reported feeling burnout, which the report defined as "chronic stress and exhaustion that overwhelm a parent's ability to cope and function." Burnout, the report said, 是否会让父母感到与孩子的身体疏远, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

“我们的研究发现的另一件事是，很多父母都很孤独，”高利克说. In her survey, 79% of parents and 75% of fathers said they would welcome more interaction with adults outside of work. “当父母感到孤独和孤立时，他们的倦怠也会上升."

母亲们也面临着身体和精神上的挑战. Maternal depression can harm children in many ways. And in Gawlik's survey, 55%的母亲称自己感到精疲力竭，这一比例甚至高于男性.

All that has implications for heart health: Stress , 抑郁和孤独与心血管疾病有关.

当母亲遇到问题时，不抑郁的父亲可以成为孩子的缓冲, research has shown. But Fisher, a single father of a 5-year-old daughter, 他说，社会通常更善于认识到新妈妈的需求，而不是新爸爸的需求.

The American Academy of Pediatrics, for example, 鼓励对所有父母进行抑郁症状筛查. The recommendations call for testing mothers during well-infant visits several times in the first six months – but fathers only once.

Meanwhile, many modern fathers are working without a blueprint as they retain traditional duties and learn to be nurturing in ways that earlier generations didn't model, Fisher said. "They're not always sure of what is their role, and how can they do it, because they don't have examples."

虽然很多研究都是针对生父的, he said, 大多数发现似乎并不局限于成为亲生父母.

"We need to expand perinatal research to understand the experiences of sexual- and gender-minority parents and diverse family structures," Fisher said. "We suspect that some of the experiences of fathers would apply to non-birthing parents in general, 尽管他们有许多独特的经历需要了解."

费雪提出了几种支持父亲的方法——有些是广泛的，有些是个别的.

On the societal level, he said that fathers in the U.S. 在孩子出生后的关键日子里，他们通常无法享受育儿假, and when they do, they take less time off than moms. 与其他工业化国家相比，这两个国家都相形见绌.

"It really puts them at a disadvantage at a very critical period in their lives," Fisher said.

On the personal level, he said, fathers need to be aware of the potential for mental health problems and be willing to say they need help. 男性通常不会因为他们的医疗需求而寻求治疗, he said, and depression can make asking even harder.

男人如果感到沮丧，应该对自己诚实, down or anxious, while also "taking the feedback from other people that people might notice you seem different than normal. 你可能会注意到你每晚睡前都要多喝一杯, or you might notice a little more irritability."

A professional can help, Fisher said. "Getting assessed lets you know what is recommended and what are your options to support yourself," he said, and it doesn't always mean medication or therapy.

Gawlik agrees the culture needs to be more supportive of the challenges of modern fatherhood. “我真的觉得这是一个领域，而不是一个社会, as communities, we're really dropping the ball."

她说，有时候，父母可以发现问题，并向他人寻求帮助. For example, if a parent is stressed because they feel like all they're doing is hauling their kids to extracurricular activities, forming a carpool might help.

在这些活动中与其他家长交谈可以在许多其他方面有所帮助, especially for dads, she said.

If a child has a specific issue, such as ADHD, "it would be really great to build a connection with other parents that have children with ADHD, 因为他们正在经历你所经历的," she said. 其他父母可以提供同理心，并可能提出对他们有效的策略.

Real-life connections can help with another common stressor: the idea that everyone else has parenting figured out. "Setting yourself up to try to be perfect all the time is an unrealistic expectation," Gawlik said. "So we really need to think about readjusting what our expectations are for not only ourselves, but also for our children."

She's done that herself – learning to celebrate the way toys are constantly strewn about her once-tidy home because it shows that children are playing and being creative there.

Her work suggests that a child's mental health improves when parents spend time playing with them and worsens as the number of extracurricular activities rises. 因为孩子的心理健康问题是父母自身压力水平的一个重要因素, that means that a parent who focuses on the core relationship with their child might see benefits all around.

Solutions, like problems, would vary from person to person, Gawlik said, but it's important to act early. "It's all prevention," she said. “一旦你进入倦怠循环，就很难从中走出来."

Fisher also emphasized the need for fathers to develop a supportive community even if they're feeling well. Self-care – including regular health checkups and finding time to relax – are important "to ensure that they are taking care of their overall well-being, which impacts the whole family."